Today was bad for me, probably one of the worst days aside from the actual day itself, then the subsequent day a week after that which made me cry again. But today I woke up and I felt different and I just knew it was going to be bad, I had this feeling in my stomach. I laid in bed for a while, watched some OC, watched some Friends...the most productive thing I did all day was shower. I had all these big plans to get everything in my apartment squared away and I just...didn't. I didn't want to, I didn't feel like doing anything.
Sometimes I get that trapped feeling and I just have to get out, and it is so scary and overwhelming that even if I don't have a destination, I just have to drive, something I have talked about before. So I drove around tonight for a while and it dawned on me that if I didn't exist, no one would notice. If I had never been born, no one's life would be any different than it is now. I have never made a difference. I don't know how that makes me feel.
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